A liminal space, the place of transition, waiting, and not knowing. It is the in-between moments, a period of discomfort and transformation. It is a space where your old habits, beliefs, and even your personal identity disintegrates.
I heard Rob Bell mention this in one of his Facebook live talks and was very intrigued by it. I'm sure it's of no surprise to you all that I am in a place of transition so of course this caught my attention.
Richard Rohr says it is "a unique spiritual position where human beings hate to be but the biblical God is always leading them. It is when you have left the tried and true, but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else. It is when you are finally out of the way. It is when you are between your old comfort zone and any possible new answer. If you are not trained in how to hold anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, how to entrust and wait, you will run... anything to flee this terrible cloud of unknowing." I read that when we become aware of our own liminality, most of us, if we're honest, don't know who to be or how to navigate it.
Hmm... liminal space. Before now, I didn't know there was a name for it other than the "in-between" that I've been calling it. I've definitely been experiencing some, if not all of this. Then, today, I started reading a new book and it totally spoke to me more about how to live in this waiting. One part spoke of looking beyond what we might think our discontent is. It said we need three things: an awareness of our inner longings, the courage to act on behalf of that longing, and a sense of community to support and maintain our interior journey. Longing and discontent is a wake-up call, an invitation to begin to begin. There are always times in our lives where we experience an inner sense, a fleeting thought, a little yearning to live our lives differently. "Our practical selves only know how to perfect, produce, and perfect. This, at least, we can see as useful. This has results. We want to believe in this way of perceiving. For a little while it seems to give us some sort of self-image" (Inviting Silence). I think this is how a majority of us fill the in-between, the liminal space. We fill the time with more and more to accomplish goals and feel important or make an identity for us. But how many of us just sit in it? How many of us listen for God in these moments? How many of us allow room for silence? Silence reveals. Silence heals. Silence is where God dwells. We yearn to be there. But yet we are often too scared to go there. We fill our time with more and more, never allowing time for transformation.
I was speaking to a friend the other day about this odd place I've found myself in. Life is still flying by, but I previously felt like I was doing more waiting than living. Realizing that, my mind has been opening up to ways to live while I'm waiting. Yes, I'm super passionate about my move to Thailand to serve full-time. I know that's where I'm supposed to be. But I can't stop living while I wait to get there. My heart has been drawn to community. What does that mean? I'm not quite sure. I've been trying new things, reaching out to new people, and trying to increase community with my closest friends. I've actually just recently figured out that this whole "community" thing is where my heart has been. In small ways, I've been trying to build or increase community in different groups of people. Whereas I typically withdraw a bit and shrink my circle of friends to prepare for an upcoming farewell, I've been branching out, meeting new peeps, and making new friends. Where is this coming from? I have no idea. God is doing something inside of me and now that I know where my heart lies during this waiting, I will continue to seek Him and His plan for me and the transformation He has planned for me. What is God's plan for me while I'm waiting?
