Ok. So this is not really my story. But, it is a story about sharing my story! This past week has been an awesome week. I've had three opportunities to share my story about my journey to Thailand since last Wednesday. It's the craziest thing. Every time I shared, there were no nerves! It was just me, being me, sharing where I've been, and sharing where I'm going. I am apparently pretty comfortable with sharing this story. I started Wednesday at my church in front of our mission team. I will admit that I was a tiny bit nervous for this one because it was my first time sharing what I had prepared. Surprisingly, the nerves did not last long! Normally when I speak in front of others, I stay pretty nervous. My voice shakes, my hands shake, I get real fidgety, and sometimes I want to cry. I started sharing my story with them and immediately fell into a groove and comfort of sharing my heart, my experiences, and my desire to go. It was crazy! I didn't even have to look at the notes I had to remind me of what to say with each slide. It was MY story and MY experiences. I know this. I lived it. I want to live it out. Is it any wonder that I had no problem talking about it? That being said, I really enjoyed getting to share with them! I guess I didn't realize how excited I am to get to share about my time in Thailand and what I plan to do once I make it back there to serve long term. I guess I didn't realize that because I really hadn't shared with many others before. Somewhere along the way, as I spent time preparing my slideshow and figuring out what things I was most passionate about sharing, came a deep joy in having opportunities to share. After sharing that Wednesday and checking in with some friends after the fact to see how they thought I did, I couldn't wait for the next opportunity to share! The next opportunity was Sunday. I was visiting my parents for a few days to celebrate my mom's birthday and asked if my dad would like me to share at his church. He is a pastor at a small church and readily accepted my offer to share. This time would be a little different. This time I would be standing at the front of the church behind the podium. But again, the peace of God settled in my heart and I was able to calmly walk up there and share my presentation, my story, with them in a heart-felt, passionate way. Many of them talked to me afterwards and said how much they enjoyed listening to me share. I had fun sharing and enjoyed talking with some of them afterwards. Once getting back to my parents' place, I thought on my experience. I was like, oh my goodness, when did it get so easy for me to talk in front of others?! Where did my crazy anxiety go? I can only praise God for it because only His peace could make me comfortable enough in my own skin and calm my anxiety. And it surely has something to do with the peace God has provided me in accepting my call to go! But, I'm still quite amazed with it! I still have anxiety in lots of other things in life, just not in public speaking right now (one of the things that has caused GREAT anxiety in the past). My last opportunity was actually today! It was my first time to share with a couple in their home. Again, no nerves. Only peace. And a great joy in getting to share and invite others to join me on this journey! Maybe none of this makes sense to you. Maybe you don't know me well and don't quite understand the dread I used to feel when asked to speak in front of others. Maybe this following fact will help you understand. I dropped speech in college THREE times before successfully completing it. THREE TIMES! And usually right before it was time to do the first speech. So yes. I remain amazed at the peace that passes all understanding that God has granted me in this time.
Spring break has also helped make this week awesome! It's been so nice to have unlimited time to do all kinds of things I've wanted to do, but have had very limited time for. I've spent time laying outside reading and enjoying the beautiful weather. I've stayed up late and slept in, which is my preferred way of life. I've taken daily walks with my dog Lucy. I've gone to see movies. Four movies to be exact! I've jumped on the trampoline. I've gone for frozen yogurt. I've skyped. I've spent time with my spiritual director. I've read some more. And I've just sat in silence with God loving Him and being loved by Him. It's funny. This week has been completely amazing, but I've spent the majority of it completely on my own. Maybe that's something I needed. Maybe I needed some space and silence in my life. Planning things with my friends is always awesome and enjoyable, but maybe this week was about recharging. Maybe this week was all about what I wanted to do. If so, it was a super successful week. Me time- check. Soul filled- check. Spiritual renewal- check. Spring Break was just what I needed!
Next big thing: find more people to share my story with! It apparently brings me joy!
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