Tomorrow starts the 2016-2017 school year. I start this year with a lot of mixed feelings. First of all, I went through the majority of last year thinking it would be my last year. I've worked through that... or maybe I had. But maybe actually starting back now is a new form of the past let down that I need to work through again. Second of all, I've always worked, for the most part, in the classroom and have been lucky enough to spend some great quality time with my coworkers. I was blessed with having a great community of coworkers that I loved and got to spend time with while working with our students. This year is completely different. I've shifted into a new position along with my other previous coworkers. One is in a different classroom, one moved to another district, and I'm still working with the other but our new positions will have us out and about all the time so we may rarely see each other. To be honest, I think that is what makes me the most sad. I will miss that daily time in community. But there's also the anxiety that goes with starting something new as well. I will be traveling to different classes each period assisting students in general ed classes. I have to learn how to work with new students and with several new teachers as I go from class to class. I don't really know what to expect, how the teachers will react to me being in their classes, or what the expectations will be of me in each different class. I've been trying to be pretty positive about it for the most part, but all of these truths hit me full force on Friday and I've realized just how much all of these things are affecting me. Prayers for the start of the school year. For the students coming back. For the teachers and staff that will be working with those students. And for an overwhelming sense of peace throughout the school building as we get into a rhythm and build new relationships. And for peace in my soul.
I would also appreciate prayers as I evaluate my spare time and see just what opportunities to help and serve I can be involved in. My heart wants to say yes to everybody, but my body knows its limits and that I can't. It's very hard for me to say no to others and it seems like I have a lot of great opportunities vying for my time. My greatest desire is to focus on my support raising to get to Thailand and that requires my availability. I need to be available to schedule meetings with friends and possible supporters. I also need to continue my Thai lessons once a week. I also have a phone meeting once a week. On top of that, I'm trying to purge and pack so I can move to another house. My temporary housing has turned into a year now so I think I should probably follow through with the plan to move in with others now that their house is complete. Also, if you've ever worked for a school, you know how exhausting the first week is! I will be battling some major exhaustion this week while trying to be productive. Just being at staff development all last week with NO students left me so tired I had to take an hour nap once home the whole last half of the week! Prayers for discernment as I evaluate time, goals to accomplish, self needs, and my desire to serve. May God reveal to me what I can and can't do so that I do not take on more than I can handle.
Yes, this post probably seems like a lot of stress, but it's where I'm at and what I'm working through. I like to be as honest as possible so you can know my heart a little better. It is a busy month for me, for sure. Lots to do, lots to figure out, and lots of new. That being said, there are always positives! My Lucy is doing much better after being in pain for several days! I have a roof over my head, a car to get to and from, and a job to support me and all of my needs. I cleaned out my closet and got rid of a lot of clothes and shoes. I even made some extra cash selling some of the shoes. I had some great lunches with my coworkers last week and got to spend some quality time with them before school started. I got to share my story of serving in Thailand with a Sunday school class today and it was a lot of fun! My good friend, Charli introduced me and I just relaxed and had fun sharing bits and pieces of my story. Prayers for continued support raising are appreciated and if you would like to hear more, please let me know!
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